Supporting Loved Ones Who May be Grieving During the Holidays

The traditional holiday celebrations that focus on joy and gratitude can sometimes leave those who are grieving a loss feeling at odds. Feelings of guilt and sadness might seem out of place in a season marked by merriment and good cheer. However, grief is a natural response to loss at any time of year. In fact, the holiday season can intensify these feelings and can add a sense of isolation that can be hard for others to understand. Even a loss suffered long ago can intensify during this time.

Ways to support those you love who may be grieving during the holidays include:

Don’t Be Afraid to Acknowledge the Loss.

Don’t be afraid to mention the name of those who have died. Remembering them with a moment of silence or small ritual, such as lighting a candle or sharing a special memory, can help loved ones know the loss is not theirs alone.

Understand that Traditions Can be Flexible.

A person who is grieving may not wish to participate in every holiday festivity, but they also won’t want to be excluded from events that may be comforting or supportive. Be open in asking what they feel up to doing and allow them to voice their decisions without judgment.

Words Count

We might feel awkward in acknowledging a loss, and sometimes our good intentions can be lost if we are not aware of how our words can affect others. For example, a simple “I’m thinking of you” or “I’m sorry” carries more weight than generic encouragement to “enjoy the holiday,” which can seem to dismiss the loss.

Actions Matter

While we will often mean it when we say, “let me know if I can help,” offering to do a specific task or chore to help does not require the grieving person to take the initiative in asking. Offering to drop off a favorite meal on Tuesday, for example, or taking the children on a walk, allows acceptance and connection that supports those who are grieving.

Just be Present

Your presence--even without words—can be supportive and reassuring to a person who is grieving. Without trying to “fix” or erase the pain that might be present, spending time together can ease isolation and offer a way to show we care.

At Enchanted Sky Hospice, we work with patients and families to provide holistic care at end of life. This includes counseling, respite care, spiritual care, bereavement, and more. Consultations are always free.